What I like is that you are thinking in terms of preserving yourself and your baby a definite place to live. If you were to move in at Will's Mother's house, the option would be available that you and the baby could be asked to leave the house, but if you are in your own house, or your own apartment then no one can put you out and so you can ask Will to leave without having to move the baby.

What I don't like....well now I will try to say it kindly.... is that I don't think you can trust Will or his Mother. I have a saying that I live by, and it came from Maya Angelou, it is this, " when a person shows you who they really are, don't ever forget it. Because that's who you are really dealing with".

Having said that, I wouldn't move in with Will because he is immature and his Mother is knowing it and willing to help by allowing you to move in upstairs to cover up his immaturity.

I think you and the baby deserve a lot more and I hope that comes to you in a positive way.

glad you're getting better at throwing up.  should be passing soon.  you can't be much further from the 3 month mark.

Make sure "future" gets to read that letter someday... I started a journal for the girkls when I was pregnant with each of them, I write in it everyday... it is several books long now for each of them but when they get married I am going to give them that special gift...

Love you my friend...

Love and HUggs

Janica

I am happy that you are taking care of yourself and that you took the prenatals... I know they are HUGE pills... I have trouble swallowing pills myself... I have a easy gag reflex... YUCK

I cant wait for January to get here so we can share in your joy of finding out what "future" is... boy or girl....I vote for Janica for a name for a girl   LOL

Have a blessed day... Know you are loved and being prayed for...

Love HUggs and Prayers,,,

Janica

what a sweet letter.  i think you should start your own mother to child diary. 

and what timing on this letter! 

Very moving letter! Would have loved to have had a welcome letter written for me....as many other people would also want one. Please keep it for your child. Nothing like sharing the fact that the baby was loved, wanted and needed in your life.

You are going to make a terrific Mother. I can tell by the way you are trying hard. I was worried about transitioning from being an Athlete to a Mother. Everyone tells me I did a great job, but I am certain of it when my child tells me.

One of the highest praises you can ever recieve in life is the love of your child when they call you Mother. It is a title that is given only to one person in their life, and it's not given lightly, it's earned.

God Bless You and the baby and may Will be a better man.

hey crimson,

i always try to comment on your diary but theres no space for comments....maybe my computer is just acting weird

it's good you found everything you like already.  better to be too prepared than underprepared.  before and after future's arrival.

january's too long to wait to find out what you're having.  though i guess with all the holidays and everything it'll fly right by! 

Haha.  Yes.  A few more!

The glucose tolerance test (that's the one I failed) you have to get between like 24 and 28 weeks I think.  You drink this orange drink and sit in a waiting room for an hour, then they draw your blood. 

If you fail that one, you have to go for the 3 hour long test, which is even worse because you get poked 4 times!  lol.

And you have to get a group b strep test at like 32 weeks.  That's not so bad though, they just swab your front part and your back part and that's it.  lol.

If i can think of anymore I'll for sure let you know!

you don't have to pray for me to get snow to complain.  the very thought of it makes me naseous and i believe i mentioned to a co-worker that we can fast forward right through winter.  she came back with something like, "winter hasn't even started yet."  yeah yeah. this is good enough for me.   40's cold enough.

your body's going to go through a LOT more changes before it gets better.  wait until you have to have will help you with your shoes.  i shit you not.  paul used to have to leave the house in the morning way before me, and i had to get up and dressed with him so he could get my shoes on for me.   i know i'm probably not making you feel better.  but in the end, it's sooo worth it. 

I live closer to Grand Rapids, so we're a little ways away from each other.

I always just ate the strawberries out of the freckled lemonades when I was pregnant...before I failed my glucose test.  Then I got 0 freckled lemonades.  lol.

snow....we're supposed to get some on tuesday.  as far as i'm concerned, you can just keep it all over there in michigan.

glad you had fun at the casino once you got your pants unbuttoned.   i do that sometimes when i get home.  its so much more comfortable.  ssshhh....don't tell anyone. 

It's snowing here too, and it sucks.

Have you ever had the Freckled Lemonade at Red Robin?! Because it is absolutely the best thing ever invented!

Casinos...they can be fun! Last time I went I won about $30 and ended up putting that back in trying to win more.

I think you are deserving of many good nights out and need a bit or rest too. Take care of yourself because those nine months go so fast and the last trimester you will need all the rest you can get.

Hope you had a good night out!

My breast showed before my stomach did!

I'm not kidding they were filling up spaces in my bra that I never thought about and were so tender that I could hardly stand to keep the bra on. But once you notice how PRETTY your hair, skin and face gets, you won't think about the bump. Oh yeah, I did love going to the bathroom mirror and pulling up the shirt and looking at the bump alone. It was like my own little special something.

There is a beauty to all pregnant women that is called a glow, it's as if a rose is in bloom and when you first notice the changes, it's sort of shocking but the more you go through the trimesters, you start to see the love in your face, the way you walk, and how you adjust to make room for the baby within you. I only had one child, and had to go through the summer to have her, but it was a very special time, and though I was hot, and tired and worn out from trying to work part time--couldn't do that too long and had to quit because my feet were hurting so badly--I would gladly do it again to have the child that I have now. The moment that I saw her, I could do nothing but reach to hold her, it was if the world didn't matter, just that I had this baby and was so proud of her.

Hope you love your bump more each day.

I hate it that you took him back. I know I am going against the crowd here, but the fact is He messed up and you didn't.

I also think that Will is just playing with your head, and cried when he needed to. Once he got you back in his life, he may act right for a few months, but you can rest assured that he will cheat on you again. Why do I say this: because you took him back. Some men think half of the fun of cheating is never to be caught, the other think the fun is in keeping the first woman when they get caught. But what do the women who live with cheaters get? Stressed out, disease, loneliness, and aged faster. Take a look at some of the older women you know who may reveal to you about the cheaters in their life, they have caused more havoc than you should accept. You are young enough to take a new direction, and not have to be victim to Will's injustices in your life.

Girl, he's not the only man. He's just available, and that makes you feel comfortable. But comfortability with someone who is playing a dangerous game- yes unprotected s..x is dangerous- it's not just wrong, it's deadly and you should not be with a man who thinks this is the right lifestyle.
His immaturity could cause you more than you are willing to give.

I pray that you are able to sustain a better life for yourself and your baby and that Will grows up before he hurts someone who is innocent to his selfish ways.

It's a new day, and cheating isn't just mean, it's deadly!

I have one question : If past history is a measurment of one's behavior, what does this say about Will?

[prettyisthin]

Have fun at the casino... I am taking Trinity rollerskating with the youth from our church.... I think she will have fun....

Blessings be yours now and always my friend...

Love and HUggs

Janica

ehhh i hate prescriptions mess-ups

well im sorry u cant go 2 the concert

I know how you feel about the pharmacy.

I've been going for a week trying to get my prenatal vitamins (I have to keep taking them because I'm breastfeeding) and the pharmacists keep saying, "We're having trouble getting in our shipment of Natalcare.

I'm like, "Dammit bitch."  lol.

Oh not a problem!  I had a lot of bitching to do that 40 weeks.  lol. 

I wouldn't worry about starting to show.  With your first kid you usually don't show for awhile.  I didn't really start to show until I was about 18 weeks.  = ]

 I know what you're saying.

Those damn men know JUST what to do when they mess up.

It's ridiculous!

good luck n trillions of blessings to u n future. ur so STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!

much love  (^_^)

Guard your heart Loreal.... Id hate to see you hurt AGAIN....

Ill be praying for you and your relationship with Will...and for "futures" well being....

Love HUggs and prayers...

Janica

Well maybe this is the wake up call he needs to grow and give you his all.  Everyone makes mistakes, I know I sure have.  And I also know that it is possible to cheat and still love someone.  I know from the outside looking in, its like, how could she/he love him/her if they have cheated, but things are not always as they seem.  I'm sure Will does love you and now that he has seen you almost slip away he will appreciate what he has that much more.

Either way, I'm glad you are doing what is best for you and your lil one, thats what matters.  Besides, no one on here really knows what up, you just gotta do what feels right to you. Kind of feel your way thru the dark to find where you want to be. 

thanks for the comment loreal.  we are ALL writing letters to the govenor's office.  our goal is EXACTLY what you brought up.  just to innundate his office with letters. 

i had incredibly curly hair when i was paige's age.  same banana curls and everything.  but the curly hair's on paul's side too.  our nephew's hair is incerdibly curl, and so isn't paul's mother's.  so it's through the genes everywhere.  it was pin straight when she was born, so when it started growing out and the curls cam in, i was a little surprised. 

i hope there's something you and will can work out.  even if it's just being civil to each other.  you guys have a child now.  he will be there for the next 18 years of your life (hopefully, if he's a good father anyways) whether you like it or not.  so you don't have to like him, you just have to be able to be civil to him.  hope things go okay.  keep us posted.

sorry this turned out so long.

My mother always told me when I was growing up when people do me wrong Im supposed to "kill them with kindness"... And Ive found  that it works....

I hope that you recieve the reaction from Will that you are looking for....

Your in my thoughts and prayers....

Love HUggs and prayers...

Janica

OMG i cant believe he even.......omg why would......just OMG

much love n respect to u on the serious note. u ARE one of thr strongest women i have even had the mind to know. me having anger problems would have did something completely stupid. u r a great admirable woman n many blessings to u.

but just to let him know him n the tramp can got to #3!!

I agree, I dont think you should "use" Will either... You are bigger AND better than that!  But I also think that you should try to find some common ground with him for "futures" sake... Even Im cordigal (spelling?) to the girls father, no matter how much I dislike and despise him... It just makes things that much nicer when I do have to deal with him.  I dont know that I would beable to ever trust Daniel again enough to take him back if he did something like that to me.... Best of luck to you....  Love you...

Love and HUggs

Janica

Love the show... took me awhile to even get into it but I love it now.

Oh hun I am sorry that you are having to go thru this... Its bad enough alone, but add to it that youre pregnant it makes it even worse... what an ASS!!!! He deserves what he got, but you DID NOT!!!!

Be strong, you WILL get through this, the Lord WILL get you through it... He would not have brought you here if he did not think you were strong enough to get through it...

I will say a prayer that this does not affect the baby at all...."future" does not deserve this....

I will say a prayer for your healing and your strength....

By the way, I BarRocked my vote also on Tuesday....It was a good day...It will be outstanding to see the changes our nation will have... Im excited... Cant wait for January....

Have a blessed night my dear friend....I will pray for the best for you and "future"....

Love, HUggs and Prayers...

Janica

Own the Facts!

Whatever you do, don't deny the facts. He cheated, he risk your life and the baby's life, he dosen't want you!

Move On.

Don't lie to yourself and fall in his arms for the sake of the child. The man dosen't want you or the child--no matter what he says--he proved that by being with other people.

Now what you want to remember is this:

You are worth far more than this man and have been cheating yourself out of a better relationship by waisting time with him. Get him out of your life and move on.

You're not being mean to do so, because that's the way he's been treating you. He's been moving on and coming back and lying to you. Now it's time for you to move on and leave him alone and then you will find a better relationship, a better life and I pray you never regret it.

If I had been pregnant and had to endure half of the pain that you have been through, I would not accept his telephone call, nor would he hear my voice. His actions are the cruelest that can be done to a woman in your condition. This was to be a time of support. He chose to support only his self, he is selfish, arrogant, and is NOT the person that you need. Let the other woman/women have him, men like this are liars and users and you don't need that you need a positive man in your life to help you raise this baby.

I pray that you find happiness.

Prettyisthin~~~

fromthisdayfwd,

i think you have to add me first before i read your entrys. But anywho, I think if your African American and witnessed this day it plays a part in not just our american history but a big milestone in our country. I think Obama does want to help people make a way for themselves. Me getting ready to be a social worker I see nothing wrong with that. I think it's okay to help others so they can get on their own two feet. I am expecting a child and have lots of little cousins who I hope they become successful people. But then again, success to me is knowing that you can give to help others while still helping yourself. I want universal health care for every person no matter what. Canada has been doing it for years so why can't we. I just think its time for a change. We've tried the old way for more than 400 years so whats 4 years of something new? Regardless, I didn't like Bush's eight years but I had to make due so. So now it's your turn and other people who may not like Obama to make due. You win some you lose some...but this one you just loss. Better luck next time.

p.s-no disrespect or pun intended

Im sorry , that wasnt meant agaisnt anyone w. a different race at all.

I just seen so much  w. news etc. and it scares me is all.I understand like you wrote to another..

*************

i'm so happy that Obama won and I'm happy my grandmother and great grandmother saw this day.

I heard a similar quote...

"Rosa sat down, so Martin could walk,so Jessie could run so Obama could win"

     ----i think this was Michael Eric Dyson

 [1bap] 

*********

, but thats what scares me, it was all about race w. many .   i am semi private , but id love to have you read my entry.. it wasnt because i am  of a different  race .. the facts of his background, and his wifes ,and friend thats scares  me. And his aunt, who  knows her nephew is running, and his family knew of this,, but then its ok ?..and also what i wrote of us'sharing the wealth ', my husband has busted his butt to  make us the business we have , he wasnt handed  anything   by anyone, now our employer taxes will go up-big time w. the elected!  :(   .I understand what you wrote of gramma & great  grammas seeing this ( yes I have chills for sadly what they had to experience ), Im happy for them .  Im sorry..  i just am scared  that our success will fail , just because there will be  'free hangd outs'. and yes, Im scared my daughter , will not have that freedonm of being successful & making her money go to worthy places, because it will be handed out to others, why because she is successful> thats what scary , sorry if  the original entry hurt you .. take care ..

after all, we're supposed to all be in this coutry together, but not  to take from others.  I guess time will tell.

take care .Have a nice day .

~me

fromthisdayfwd,

i'm knew there would be some "ignorance" on my entry. But hey some people are slow to change and closed minded. But once again I AM PROUD!!!!!!

born here? they cant even show us his birth certificate , amungst other things. 

how can  so many vote when  he said he also would be against Israel  if it were between them & others ??!!  discust!

 we are headed for our next civil war!

well, one had to be elected, but what just scares me -discusts me more, is hard working people ..that havnt gotten things handed to them, worked their asses off for what they a have , and given to their family . they did it themselves. its not for them to share w. others..

and  his   best friend is a bomber, and his wife sais he hates usa. how can you be proud to  elect him!  And  majority voters, threaten ' if he isnt elected ... ", how can anyone be proud to support someone who has supporters like that!!?.sad, just sad.maybe his illegal aunt can move in the guest house. take care.

[fromthisdayfwd]

You can believe I baracked the vote too!

well, i'm glad you're keeping food down and keeping blood in.  good good good.  now if you could only get some sleep....yeah right.  kiss your sleeping days good-bye.  the pregnancy will take it's toll on your sleeping habits, and you certainly aren't going to get ay once the baby gets here.  just look fondly back at the days you used to sleep.

i was definately going to stick paigey's new accomplishment in the other diary.  just haven't gotten that far yet.  thanks for keeping me up to date though.  those are the big things that definately need to go in her diary.

im glad to see every1 is coming around. ehh this will b tough but all worth it. all we can say is have hope

i'm so happy your mom's on board.  it'll make the whole thing so much easier for you with some support from mom.  it'll be nice to have your own place with future.  it sounds scary now, but once the baby comes, and you're comfortable with your place as the mom, it'll be easier to do things your way and have everything the way you want it. 

i'm glad you got to the ultrasound yesterday and it went well.  i would be so crazy with the bleeding.  i'd be non-stop worrying.  you only got a couple more weeks before you hit second trimester and it should be easier to keep food down.  and yes, the official term for those things is "onsies." 

i saw a pumpkin carved out as obama today on our trick or treat travels.  i complimented them on their pumpkin.  i can't even imagine the amount of time it took.  it was really creative.  they had about 4 pumpkins, all intricately carved.  i can't even imagine the amount of time they put into them.

so glad your appointment went well.  i should've given you the warning on the vaginal ultrasound.  they're uncomfortable to say the least.  i didn't get to hear paigey's heartbeat either until i was about 12 weeks pregnant.  it's so amazing the first time you hear it though.  you'll look forward to it every time you go. 

hope you can keep some of those reese's cups down.

Loreal,

Enjoy your ultrasound.... may everything be just fine!!! Ill be praying for you and for "future"....

Love and HUggs

Janica

Happy 8wks 1day....  :)

Im still worried about the bleeding... And Will did not need to be a butt to you... Sorry your day started that way....

I do pray for you that you get to feeling better soon....

I am voting for Obama, and Im republican... what does that say aboout my faith in the one running for my "side"?  I just think Obama has his hand on the pulse of what this nation needs and thats CHANGE not for the rich, we need breaks for the middle and lower class peoples of our nation....

Happy Halloween for you....Just think next year this time you will have a wee one of your own to dress up and go around with, to show off....

Prayers are with you my dear friend....

Love and HUggs

Janica

He didn't really say much.  He doesn't want to get in the middle of it, and I guess I don't blame him.

But, not to be depressing, but I didn't want to have s..x the WHOLE time I was pregnant.

And then, once I got to be like 4 or 5 months, my uterus got so big that s..x was so uncomfortable for me (when I did have it), I couldn't have an orgasm.

I went 4 months without one, which made s..x pretty much pointless for me.  lol.

But I guess some women really want to have s..x in their second trimester though.

But it's pretty normal not to want it in the first and third trimesters.  In the first tri it's just all your new hormones and in the third trimester you're going to feel huge and uncomfortable and s..x will probably be the last thing on your mind.

Yeah. Those damn boyfriends Mothers are ridiculous.

Now Kenny's Mom tried to ask me if she could take my daughter for a few hours on Sunday.

And she thinks I don't know, but I know that she wanted to take her to get her first pictures taken without me and Kenny.

I told her, quite kindly, to go f*ck herself.  lol.

definately take it easy until the bleeding stops.  it's good to stay active to keep your weight down, but your circumstances are a little different.

and yes, i've tried letting my mother give a shot with the potty training.  she does the same thing with her.  she's just bull headed.  good in some ways....baaaad in others.  she'll get the hang of it eventually.  she just had an accident on the floor, but she knew imediately what she had done and went to sit on the potty for a while.  she's a smart little girl.  i have no doubts that once she actually GOES on the potty, she'll pick it right up. 

Interesting cravings!  All acidic foods (oranges, oj, tomato, ravioli) plus crackers to calm your stomach afterwards! LOL I don't think I ever had cravings when I was PG. I had food aversions cause I was so sick my first trimester (morning sickness) - couldn't stand the smell of coffee and I LOVE coffee - haven't been able to eat a New York strip steak since!

ps - I hope you get your pizza on Tuesday!

  Loreal,
After having voted for candidates who won and for candidates who lost in many different elections, I've learned not to be in "love" with the candidate, but instead to love my country and fellow citizens who voted their majority in whichever direction it takes them.
  Whomever is the majority winner must be accepted as everyone's President, whether they voted for or against. That's what democracy is all about, and when we lose that this country will fall away just as every other one has done throughout history.
  Just an opinion of course, but it's one I hold dear.

Hope you enjoy your ultrasound tomorrow.........and looking forward to pics if possible. See you later, Michael.

Bre's going to be a cow. 

= ]

RYC on politics - I don't mind the long comments - I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Obama/social issues etc...I love discussing politics as long as the person it civilized and logical which from your comment you seem to be both! LOL  I agree, sometimes it is choosing the lesser of two evils. 

One reason I'm so again social programs (I'm for them, but I think they should be extremely strict) is because I came from a low income background.  My mom didn't work, my dad was an immigrant who was cook his whole life.  Yet he got up every morning at 5am and walked to work, day after day, week after week, year after year.  He never got food stamps or welfare.  He didn't make much more than probably what McD's pays.  We didn't have much but we had a roof over our head and food. My dad had a 6th grade education, but he bettered himself by learning to read and write English pretty darn well. I went to inner city public schools - I had no guidance when it came to college or life skills really, yet I made it - I put myself through college, I worked, I took out student loans and despite the struggle made it.  So it really, really bothers me that there are a lot of people out there living off my tax dollars when I worked my butt off to better my life.  I had/have friends from high school that didn't go on to college - the had a series of retail jobs - drank beer and partied - married losers (druggies) - had babies and are now sitting at home all day with their children eating and living off my tax dollar.  There is nothing wrong with them physically. They are in their 30's - they can work but choose not to because they get free checks in the mail all the time.

OMG - sorry for the rant! BTW - just to clarify, I think food stamps, wic, welfare are great for some people who truly do need the temporary help.  That's what it's there for.  It's just those that use it as their "job", that I think needs to stop! Sorry ! You can leave me a long, long entry of your choice! LOL

I agree with the first 2 commenters, I think you should call the doctor and let him/her know whats going on still with the bleeding... it worrys me a bit...for your health but also for the health of "future"....

Ill be praying for both of you....

Know you are loved...

Love, HUggs and Prayers...

Janica

i hope the bleeding stops soon.  have you called the doctor back to let him know there's still bleeding?  it's really worrisome.....like i have to tell you that. 

oh army wives i love the story im so glad i have a fellow mdd who likes it has much as i! i hope that your bleeding gets under control like i told you b4 i told major blood clots with Roxy and now shes a drama queen 4 yr old so think postive and try to stay off your feet as much as you can... I Know its hard but it helped stop my bleeding. im so excited u get on ultrasound this fri. i do too... halloween its great lol. is will going to go with you?

woops i forgot to tell u i got a cellphone, a cute outfit, a cute jacket (its still in the 60's down here)  n alot of money

my hair is in a mohawk with braids with curls in the middle and a side swooped bang. cyyyooootttee lol

yeah i have a young family too my mom had me at 17. my grandma had my mom at 17 and so on. so i know how it feels

OMFG ur mother was a JACETTE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG THEY R LIKE DANCING ROYALTY the Sonic BOOOOM of the South yyyyeeaaahhh

haha.

there's not a darn thing grand about it.  lol.

but try to make the best of it.